Turn Misconception Into Contraception

On the side of MAX there's a girl holding a sign that says, "I'll gain a bunch of weight." Next to her there's a guy holding one that says, "She'll be an emotional roller coaster."

What misconception? Both of these things are true.

For Kerensa, Who Is Coming to Visit Today

To the honeys gettin' money playin' niggas like dummies

Is this feminism? I think it is.

'Cause I see some ladies tonight that should be havin' my baby, baby.

I don't think this is feminism, though. Biggie is oppressing women. We don't want to have his babies.

K tells me the feminists she runs with are all elitist bitches who don't watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Or Orange County, or Atlanta, and not even New York which is obviously the best one.

How do these women expect to relate to other women on any sort of "real" level if they can't understand the dominant culture? Like it or not, the housewives tell us something about who we are as a people. Understanding why we like Rock of Love (there are a million reasons) is just as important as understanding how gender is socially constructed.

So suck on this you uppity feminist bitches:

And while we're at it, you can suck on this, too:

Now THAT'S juicy delicious! Oh, hell! One more!

Those are claws. You crazy dyke bitches better not mess.

Bad Mommy

Everyone always talks about how great babies are. They have a baby and then they say things like, "I'm just in awe of the beauty that new life brings," or, "When little Huron smiles up at me I get the chills. It just blows my mind."

Kima is not impressed. Bad mommy!

Lyla and I stole the idea of sewing reusable snack bags for babies and then selling them for profit. A little plastic-lined sack for Willowbrook's all-natural cheese bunnies. A larger model for Cascade's hummus and pita. We'd jack up the prices and use the funds to buy weed and beer. But then Lyla was like, "I dunno, dude. That's pretty gay."

all in the game, yo.

Last night I had a dream that I was going after a known drug dealer. Me and the rest of the detail posted up outside the dude's house in the projects, waited for him to show himself.

On the count of three we busted in through the doors. "Hands up! Hands up!" People were running around and screaming, and I forgot what we were supposed to be doing there. I just started throwing things around, looking under beds and tables for the perp. No dice.

Then I found him on the bedroom balcony. "He's in here!" I shouted, but he pulled a gun on me and I got scared and put my hands up. He walked slowly toward me, gun in hand the whole time, and I just cowered and cried in the corner. "Yeah, that's right!" he said. "Stay down!" He got away, and my backup never showed.

I am bad police.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen!

Facebook is getting kind of lame. Like, slow, or something. Stale. Maybe it is outdoing itself. Maybe it's advanced to its fullest possible potential, and then some.

Plus, I don't seem to be getting as many notifications, which i think may be affecting my self-esteem. (previous post = evidence?) I realize that this has probably has nothing to do with the application itself, but could be possibly contributing to my feelings of subtle disdain.

gloomies

"You need to get out!" Bryan says. "You are spending too much time in bed, and also indoors."

"I'm not letting you have a rest cure!" he says.

I tell him that I am homesick. That I am tired of being so poor. I hate being poor. He is understanding, and he says, "Well, you better keep busy. It's about to get real rainy."

Yeah, yeah. Just turn up the Weezy.

Grade A

Here is a picture of Lady Gaga wearing raw meat.